Christmas Miracles

I'll be the first to admit I'm sort of a Holdiay Sourpuss. I have a few theories as to why, but those aren't important right now. What's important is to know that the last few years (especially) I really haven't enjoyed the holidays, but this year I recognized that inclination and earnestly tried to change it.

I firmly believe in daily miracles and our power to be angels on earth, so I tried to think of some over Christmas to help me recognize the Christ in Christmas in our home. Though MANY things went wrong, here are some of what went right (just to prove I fulfilled the experiment):

*My sister, her kids, and my brother all traveled here safely
*No one cried when we took all five grandkids to visit Santa
*I felt really inspired while giving a Christmas sacrament meeting talk
*Two friends got engaged
*There was another mixer available when Mom broke the first one making cookies (too bad some of the broken glass accidentally got cooked into a few cookies...)
*The right mouse button isn't stuck on the computer anymore (but now we have to use the mouse instead of the touchpad!)
*Drew really enjoyed our cookie decorating tradition (by eating the frosting off the knife)
*The kids had a lot of fun with the love log Mr. Wonderful brought over (by jumping on it until foam came out)
*Mr. Wonderful and I both gave each other gifts hand-made from materials that are important to us (We learned that I'm sentimental, and he's a true business nerd)
*I"M GOING TO WICKED!!!
*Thanks to modern-day technology we were able to video-conference my sister in from the comp to the TV to watch us open presents Christmas morning (no jokes, this one was seriously a miracle)
*Mr. Wonderful spent THREE WHOLE DAYS with me!!!!! (I think going to work every day is really over-rated)
*The Chinese buffet was open on Christmas night when our turkey didn't thaw and it was actuallly pretty good....
*I talked to a few of Mr. Wonderful's family over the phone for Christmas and met his brother and sister-in-law. They are AWESOME! (no jokes about this one, either)
* Older sis and I both felt pretty sick but got over it in 24 hours :)
*Mom bought Mr. Wonderful his own matching Christmas stocking and the whole family really embraced his being around for Christmas (I'm convinced a few of them like him more than me, actually)

Ok, ok... I'm done being sappy. Time for jokes! Here are some of my favorite quotes from this weekend:

"Um... guys.... the oven is on fire. What should I do?" --Mr. Wonderful

"He's creating."-- nephew

"What did you make the SC flag out of? A star? Give me a star." --older bro

"We're paying for his movie and his dinner. He can take the trash out!"-- older bro

"Are you going commando?"-- Mom
"I don't know, but I'm not wearing any underwear!" -- nephew

"We should be figure skaters." -- me

"I didn't cry when we saw Santa!!!!" -- niece

"Don't make cookies with glass in them and then lie about it." -- older Bro

"The turkey is still frozen. Now what?" -- Bro-in-law

"How do you say 'Sorry' in Chinese?"-- me
"I already said it three times. She says it's ok." -- Mr. Wonderful

"There's a little bag attached! Open the little bag!!" - Bro-in-law

"It's spelled Wassel but it's pronounced Wa-Sail." -- nephew

"I hope you guys aren't like this next year..." --mom to me and Mr. Wonderful
"What is she saying about us, Baby?" -- me
"There are too many things..." --Mom
"Air five!" -- friend

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Nothing's Impossible...

Personal confession time...

I am pretty bad at having daily scripture study. There. I said it. I LOVE the scriptures and have a testimony of their truthfulness and personal examples of their help, but I happen to be much more drawn to the guidance given through our modern-day leaders. Yes, I know that talks from General Authorities are considered modern-day scripture so technically it counts, but I can't help reaching for the General Conference Ensign over my quad when it's study time :(

This morning (study is so much more effective when you are awake, alert, and able to spend the rest of the day processing it, don't you think?) I, once again, reached for that Ensign. I flipped to a random talk I hadn't yet re-read and it was one by Jorge Zeballos, of the Seventy. I realized that some of my most memorable and favorite talks are from members of the Seventy. Is it because they have been waiting their whole lives to say that ONE THING? B-Dawg, my awesome sister, pointed out that they are often shorter, too, which makes every sentence packed with inspiration. But I digress...

The talk today was titled "Attempting the Impossible" and I found it so inspiration it warrants its own blog entry (for both of you who read it...)

It states that it feels impossible to follow the command to be perfect, but it is possible because Heavenly Father KNOWS and LOVES us.

1. KNOWS: Because he knows us He 'does not expect that we do what is waht we cannot achieve. The command to become perfect, as He is, encourages us to achieve the best of ourselves, to discover and develop the talents and attributes with which we are blessed by a loving Eternal Father, who invites us to realize OUR POTENTIAL AS CHILDREN OF GOD. He knows us; He knows of our capacities and our limitations.'


2. LOVES: Because he Loves us He will help us. "We are not alone. The most marvelous and powerful helps from which a human being may seek are ALWAYS available. First is the generous and loving hand of the Eternal Father, who desires that we return to His presence forever. As our Father, He is always willing and desireous to forgive our errors and weaknesses and the sins we may commit."

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know about you, but I'm relieved.

Inspiration and knowledge come to both our hearts and our heads, right? Well... the information in this talk was something I have heard before and understood in my HEAD, but reading today really touched my HEART. It is not impossible to achieve perfect. We simple have to try our BEST.

The Heavenly Father who created you knows what your BEST is. Don't try to fool Him.

The measure of our creation...

Yesterday I was playing with my niece and nephew on my sister's outdoor swing set. I took a picture of us all playing with my phone and sent it to a friend. He was at work, and texted back how envious he was of my freedom to play with children while he was stuck in an office. I returned the text saying that there were plenty of benefits of being a "workin' man". My list was long, and it seemed that I was envious of his opportunity to reach concrete goals and leave the office at the end of the day while he was envious of my freedom to meander through the day playing and being with the children.

It occurred to me then that we have different roles in life. Different expectations. Different "measures of creation."

Is he fulfilling his?

If I were to be a stay-at-home mom when I have my own children would I fulfill mine?

How does he know what the measure of his creation is? How in the world do I know what mine is?

I have so many interests. So many talents. I've never been satisfied with just one thing. At this point I'm at a crossroads in life of trying to figure out what I do want to pursue and where and with whom, and I find my options overwhelming. I could do anything. I could go anywhere. If only it had been my lifelong dream to be a stay-at-home mother... It's something I am beginning to appreciate and see the benefits of, but my passion? Satisfying? I don't know.

Will I let down my Heavenly Father if I settle for one role in life over another? What if I've misunderstood my purpose? Or my Earthly mother... She has such high hopes for me. She is so proud of what I've accomplished so far in my life. Will I disappoint her? Would she ever feel that the time, money, tears, resources, hugs, and hopes were for nothing if I chose one path over another?

How would I feel if my future children felt this way?

Is it our ultimate purpose in life to just... be happy?

"Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy." -- 2 Nephi 2: 25

Ugh. This time of life is so exciting. Don't you just love being a twentysomething?

I would LOVE some opinions.... What do YOU think about 'fulfilling the measure of our creation' ???

A Child's Prayer...

I was babysitting my nephew, Monkey, for a while this morning. We were playing peek-a-boo (a classic... no matter what anyone says!) on the couch when he started to fold his arms. Monkey has a special, 18-month-old way to fold his arms when we pray over food or bedtime, and sometimes he will spontaneously get into position in the middle of the day. When he does we just indulge him with a quick vocal prayer.

That's what we did this morning. He folded his arms in front of me, I said a short (but heartfelt) prayer. He folded his arms again. I prayed again. This happened five times before Monkey was satisfied with our communication.

Children are so close to the spirit.

He just barely left Heavenly Father. He must miss his heavenly home, and at 18 months old recognize that he feels closer to it when he offers a prayer. No wonder he likes to pray so often...

Before I left my mission my mission president relayed a story about a returned missionary who complained that he didn't feel the spirit the same way as he had on his mission. His old mission president asked if that RM prayed as often as a civilian as he had as a missionary (I counted... I offered 9 prayers before 10:30 am for completely different purposes...). The RM said he did not, and his leader's advice was to start praying more often.

I feel lucky to have had a boyfriend who also served as a constant reminder to pray. We would often talk late at night (long-distance + a 2-hour time difference = a lot of falling asleep on the phone), and when I'd become tired he would interrupt our conversation to ask if I'd yet said my nightly prayers and done my scripture study. If the answer was no, we would get off the phone so we could each take our time to express our appreciation and needs to Heavenly Father. I know this simple exercise makes a huge difference in the spirituality I feel on a daily basis, yet is one I know is easy to forgo. Why? I am so lucky to be surrounded by wonderful people who remind me how important it is.

My nephew's reminder to pray always was exactly what I needed. I don't understand why, but when I tried falling asleep last night I felt really bad. I can't explain it-- I never feel that way-- something was just wrong. Which mostly left me really perplexed!


As Monkey and I repeatedly prayed together this morning I made them more and more sincere. I honestly asked Heavenly Father to help us, to guide us with His spirit, and help us feel His love and be good children. I even started to feel better! I am so grateful for this little boy's reminder to pray always. As the priesthood leader had counciled his RM, praying often can be the difference between our most spiritual selves and our... not... so spiritual selves. Do not forget that He is there-- worthy of our constant gratitude and willing to help our fears and weaknesses! Even in the middle of the day :)

Afterward, Monkey climbed off the couch and struggled to carry his family's beautiful Book of Mormon off the coffee table to me :) Sign??? (No, J-Boy, I'm not 'Wicked and adulterous!' )

Let's take a note from the children-- those closest to the spirit-- and follow their example.

Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another.

-- Doctrine and Covenants 90:24

I AM a child of God!!!!

I am a common Mormon, which means there is nothing common about me. It means I am a daughter of God; and a very lucky one at that. It means that I have access to and can earn blessings from truths practiced and prohesied of in the Old and New Testaments restored for our day, applicable to every being and nation on this Earth, and never to be removed again (D&C 13:1). Truths including modern-day revelation, prophets and inspired mouthpieces who help us communicate with and learn from our Heavenly Father (Amos 3:7), the power to act in God's name (known as the priesthood) (Luke 9:1-3, Numbers 16: 5-10), scripture additional to the Bible, the Book of Mormon (Ezekial 37:16-17), to further guide, teach, and direct us, and many other powerfully real truths which act as evidence of God's continuing knowledge, support, and love of us all.

That God loves me is not something I always knew. Well... let me clarify that: it is something I always knew, but haven't always felt. See, for me truths are confirmed in my mind in either a completely logical way or a completely emotional way. Being a child of God was always fact; logical. As a child I memorized a favorite child's hymn, I am a Child of God. That title phrase became easy to say, and, therefore, easy to accept. But being a child of Heavenly Father is such an incredible and intense truth that it needs to be understood in both our heads and our hearts.

In January, 2009, I left to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My testimony of the restoration of Christ's true church on the Earth was real-- I understood it in my head and my heart; logically and emotionally. It took me a long time to recognize, though, that I was still looking for a confirmation that I am a daughter of God and that He knows me and cares for me personally. That uncertainty was overshadowed by my love of the Book of Mormon, my appreciation for Joseph Smith, and my desire to pay back my debt to the Savior. But to feel the love of our Heavenly Father is a need we all have the right and opportunity to satisfy, and one that I couldn't ignore; despite my enthusiasm for the church.

After recognizing that flaw in my testimony, I began to earnestly pray to my Heavenly Father to both know and feel his prescence in my life. Brothers and Sisters... Prayer works. Over the next few months confirmations of His love began to flow into my heart. I recognized His hand more and more in the direction of my life, and that helped me gain a new appreciation for Him. Don't we automatically love our Earthly families and friends because they always show that they have our best interests at heart (even if it takes some time to see the blessings...) ? That is what I saw from God. My life began to take turns for my benefit and growth that only One who knows and loves me could have set in order. One who knows my needs, desires, talents, and shortcommings, and had the opportunity to turn my physical circumstances to match them. From being called to serve in New York City, invited to learn the language of American Sign Language, being in the perfect place at the perfect time to meet many of His choicest children, 24-hour mission teaching partners who were both helpful and inspiring and a bit... challenging, and even coming home early for medical reasons. He had to have known beforehand how much I needed each of those and many other specific experiences. I truly began to recognize and appreciate Him for His efforts on my behalf, and felt His love in return. Maybe one day I will tell all the stories...

A scripture I often used when teaching and came to love is Proverbs 8: 22-30. This set of verses describe our living with God in heaven as spirit children of His before coming to the Earth. The last verse, 30, says:

Then I was with him, s one brought up with him: and I was
daily his delight, rejoicing always before him.

How beautiful! When reading this verse I imagine God as a young boy and I am a puppy dog. How much does a young boy love his new puppy? He will play with it and care for it with every ounce of his love and attention. He has fun with it and delights in every move the puppy makes with the most sincerity and innonce in the world-- that puppy can do no wrong, yet the boy loves it for no specific reason. The puppy, in return, appreciates the attention and friendship from the little boy so much it will continually try to impress him and earn a deeper place in his heart. I can't think of a better example of our relationship with Heavenly Father: sincerely loving and delightsome for no other reason than that we are His.

I'll leave you now with a scripture I discovered on my mission which has become one of my very favorites and is always comforting in times of doubt and distress (times which come often to one who is both perfectly logical yet emotional and yearns to have organization and surety in an unsure world): 1 Nephi 11:17:

And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

I, too, know that the Lord loveth His children, though I don't know the meaning of all things. And that's ok. It is the only truly certain truth on the Earth, and the only truth we really need.