Yesterday I was playing with my niece and nephew on my sister's outdoor swing set. I took a picture of us all playing with my phone and sent it to a friend. He was at work, and texted back how envious he was of my freedom to play with children while he was stuck in an office. I returned the text saying that there were plenty of benefits of being a "workin' man". My list was long, and it seemed that I was envious of his opportunity to reach concrete goals and leave the office at the end of the day while he was envious of my freedom to meander through the day playing and being with the children.
It occurred to me then that we have different roles in life. Different expectations. Different "measures of creation."
Is he fulfilling his?
If I were to be a stay-at-home mom when I have my own children would I fulfill mine?
How does he know what the measure of his creation is? How in the world do I know what mine is?
I have so many interests. So many talents. I've never been satisfied with just one thing. At this point I'm at a crossroads in life of trying to figure out what I do want to pursue and where and with whom, and I find my options overwhelming. I could do anything. I could go anywhere. If only it had been my lifelong dream to be a stay-at-home mother... It's something I am beginning to appreciate and see the benefits of, but my passion? Satisfying? I don't know.
Will I let down my Heavenly Father if I settle for one role in life over another? What if I've misunderstood my purpose? Or my Earthly mother... She has such high hopes for me. She is so proud of what I've accomplished so far in my life. Will I disappoint her? Would she ever feel that the time, money, tears, resources, hugs, and hopes were for nothing if I chose one path over another?
How would I feel if my future children felt this way?
Is it our ultimate purpose in life to just... be happy?
"Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy." -- 2 Nephi 2: 25
Ugh. This time of life is so exciting. Don't you just love being a twentysomething?
I would LOVE some opinions.... What do YOU think about 'fulfilling the measure of our creation' ???
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I hear ya on this one, cute girl. It's as though you peered into a very secret part of my heart. All I have to offer is that I try to trust the Lord with my dreams. As a wise friend once said, "In order for God to do his deepest work in me - and through me - He needs my deepest trust." - Jacob Hess
ReplyDeleteYes, as Jean Bean said, he needs your trust. But, I also feel that he certainly trusts you. You are evidently wanting to do what is right as you contemplate the many roads. Therefore, He will certainly lead you and trust you to find your right way. :)
ReplyDeleteWe already had a pretty good discussion about this one, but I want to reiterate that things may not be as black and white as you may want to make them out to be. Why can't you do both? Why can't you raise a family then save the world? Why can't you start saving the world for a few years, then take some time off for a family and see if raising your own beautiful children amid so much "worldly" muck doesn't qualify for you as saving the world in another way?
ReplyDeleteLife is well known for bring out the most interesting twists and turns, especially when we least want them. Best way to deal with them? One at a time, seeing each for what it really is and what it can become. Sometimes life makes sense, but most of the time it doesn't. You just gotta take what comes and make the best of it, as you see fit, while following whatever guidance Heaven decides to send your way. Even if nothing comes, still go at it and make the best of whatever you have. You're not alone, whatever it may seem like. Just give it your all, find a good cause to submerse yourself in, and keep at it until the right thing happens. You can't go wrong as long as you are looking and working to do the right thing, even if you don't know exactly what it is at the moment. Nothing is better than a willing heart and mind.
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