I AM a child of God!!!!

I am a common Mormon, which means there is nothing common about me. It means I am a daughter of God; and a very lucky one at that. It means that I have access to and can earn blessings from truths practiced and prohesied of in the Old and New Testaments restored for our day, applicable to every being and nation on this Earth, and never to be removed again (D&C 13:1). Truths including modern-day revelation, prophets and inspired mouthpieces who help us communicate with and learn from our Heavenly Father (Amos 3:7), the power to act in God's name (known as the priesthood) (Luke 9:1-3, Numbers 16: 5-10), scripture additional to the Bible, the Book of Mormon (Ezekial 37:16-17), to further guide, teach, and direct us, and many other powerfully real truths which act as evidence of God's continuing knowledge, support, and love of us all.

That God loves me is not something I always knew. Well... let me clarify that: it is something I always knew, but haven't always felt. See, for me truths are confirmed in my mind in either a completely logical way or a completely emotional way. Being a child of God was always fact; logical. As a child I memorized a favorite child's hymn, I am a Child of God. That title phrase became easy to say, and, therefore, easy to accept. But being a child of Heavenly Father is such an incredible and intense truth that it needs to be understood in both our heads and our hearts.

In January, 2009, I left to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My testimony of the restoration of Christ's true church on the Earth was real-- I understood it in my head and my heart; logically and emotionally. It took me a long time to recognize, though, that I was still looking for a confirmation that I am a daughter of God and that He knows me and cares for me personally. That uncertainty was overshadowed by my love of the Book of Mormon, my appreciation for Joseph Smith, and my desire to pay back my debt to the Savior. But to feel the love of our Heavenly Father is a need we all have the right and opportunity to satisfy, and one that I couldn't ignore; despite my enthusiasm for the church.

After recognizing that flaw in my testimony, I began to earnestly pray to my Heavenly Father to both know and feel his prescence in my life. Brothers and Sisters... Prayer works. Over the next few months confirmations of His love began to flow into my heart. I recognized His hand more and more in the direction of my life, and that helped me gain a new appreciation for Him. Don't we automatically love our Earthly families and friends because they always show that they have our best interests at heart (even if it takes some time to see the blessings...) ? That is what I saw from God. My life began to take turns for my benefit and growth that only One who knows and loves me could have set in order. One who knows my needs, desires, talents, and shortcommings, and had the opportunity to turn my physical circumstances to match them. From being called to serve in New York City, invited to learn the language of American Sign Language, being in the perfect place at the perfect time to meet many of His choicest children, 24-hour mission teaching partners who were both helpful and inspiring and a bit... challenging, and even coming home early for medical reasons. He had to have known beforehand how much I needed each of those and many other specific experiences. I truly began to recognize and appreciate Him for His efforts on my behalf, and felt His love in return. Maybe one day I will tell all the stories...

A scripture I often used when teaching and came to love is Proverbs 8: 22-30. This set of verses describe our living with God in heaven as spirit children of His before coming to the Earth. The last verse, 30, says:

Then I was with him, s one brought up with him: and I was
daily his delight, rejoicing always before him.

How beautiful! When reading this verse I imagine God as a young boy and I am a puppy dog. How much does a young boy love his new puppy? He will play with it and care for it with every ounce of his love and attention. He has fun with it and delights in every move the puppy makes with the most sincerity and innonce in the world-- that puppy can do no wrong, yet the boy loves it for no specific reason. The puppy, in return, appreciates the attention and friendship from the little boy so much it will continually try to impress him and earn a deeper place in his heart. I can't think of a better example of our relationship with Heavenly Father: sincerely loving and delightsome for no other reason than that we are His.

I'll leave you now with a scripture I discovered on my mission which has become one of my very favorites and is always comforting in times of doubt and distress (times which come often to one who is both perfectly logical yet emotional and yearns to have organization and surety in an unsure world): 1 Nephi 11:17:

And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

I, too, know that the Lord loveth His children, though I don't know the meaning of all things. And that's ok. It is the only truly certain truth on the Earth, and the only truth we really need.