What else do we have to do?

I had one very strong impression after the Relief Society General Broadcast a couple weeks ago: I need to be a better person. There were other things, but that is what it all boils down to.

This past week I have spent every day thinking, "I need to be a better person. I need to be a better person." For me that includes trying not to judge others (even subconsciously), do my visiting teaching, think about people who may need help and call or write them, be patient and loving at home, be aware of member missionary opportunities, not complain, and serve whenever possible.

I have to admit that, while some of those things ARE natural, I generally had to actively keep them at the front of my mind. It just gets so easy to be consumed with everyday things and become too busy to do the things we SHOULD do. I'm trying to keep our house clean, do the chores, spend time with my husband, and build a business. 

Starting a business has been especially time-consuming for me. I have rented a double booth at a craft fair coming up in 2 weeks, and have been working like a dog to think of innovative ideas and products to fill the booth with and how to display them. Ugh... it's taking a lot of work and a lot of time! I often can't sleep because of all the ideas and stress I have, and will get up in the middle of the night to go into my office and get more work done. That leaves me more tired and less productive during the day, so I feel like I haven't done much work and am too guilty to sleep... a vicious cycle. But that's my life right now. 

In fact, I had even thought of a new product idea and what I would have to do to make it while Pres. Uchtdorff gave his talk on simplifying our lives. Was he talking to me, as I sat there thinking about the errands I had to run before I forgot my idea? 

So you understand why it took so much effort to actively think of others and push away those selfish, work-horse inclinations. 

The missionaries must have been in tune to my prayer and efforts to make more time to be a better person, because they kept me pretty busy this week! We had correlation meeting Wed. night, then I had a RS Pres meeting that last almost 2 hours after that. I signed up to accompany them to teach a sister on Friday, and Thursday they asked if I would be willing to teach another before the original appt. Thursday night I didn't sleep AT ALL, and I was tempted to call the Elders to tell them I wasn't feeling well and could only go to one of the two appts-- they could choose which one. But I didn't do that, I felt strongly that I should help them. 

The first lesson was with a new investigator who had a lot of questions about the Book of Mormon. She was very less-than-convinced it was real, and voiced her opinions, which really stung. The next lesson, though, was an investigator with a baptismal date who is progressing WONDERFULLY. She said the exact opposite of things the first woman had said, and it really strengthened my testimony to contrast the two lessons. I had definately needed that, even though it took a few precious hours out of my day. 

Saturday night I was, again, planning to catch up on work to get ready for the craft fair coming up and going out of town. I had extensive plans of what to work on while Ben was away at Priesthood Session, but that afternoon the Elders called and asked if I would be willing to babysit the two kids of a single investigator who wanted to go. "Sure", I said, "What else do I have to do?"

I wasn't trying to be sarcastic.  I honestly realized I had nothing better to do than help someone else-- especially someone trying to learn more about the gospel and watch our prophet.

It just didn't matter what else I had planned on doing, how stressed I felt about getting everything done, or anything else. All that mattered was that I was being asked to do someone a favor that would spread the Kingdom of God. 

It may have taken me a hard week to figure out, but the bottom line is that, if we really want to "Try a little harder to be a little better" we need to have "nothing else to do" (despite whatever else we have to do) to spread the Kingdom of God. 

I love to see the temple...

Ok, seriously, we have to talk about how awesome the temple is. Here's my contribution.... IT ROCKS!

I know the temple is a very spiritual, holy place and I'm not trying to sound like I don't respect it. I just feel really excited about it right now because I had the best night at the temple. 

(The temple is God's house on Earth. His spirit dwells there consistently and it is only in that holy, sacred of a building that essential ordinances can be performed, some for ourselves, some for those who have died without the opportunity to do it themselves including baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, washing and annointings (think Aaron and Moses here), endowment, and sealings. All necessary to enter God's presence.) 

Ben and I have been going to the temple once a week since we got engaged. I work close to the temple which encourages us to meet there, and it has been such a blessing to us-- helping us grow closer to each other and Heavenly Father. The longest ordinance to perform for those who have passed on is the Endowment (requiring 2 hours for one person v. 8 or so people in one hour for the others), so I often feel guilty if we perform a different ordinance. So we usually do an Endowment session when we attend the temple. 

Tonight Ben suggested we do washing and annointings instead. There is only room for three women to participate in that service at a time, so I was one of three tonight. A fourth came in half an hour later to join us, so I retreated so she could have a turn. As I was dressing out of the uniform I was asked by an ordinance worker (someone who has been asked to be a volunteer at the temple) if I would join a sealing session that was already in progress. So, ladies and gentlemen, I got to do washings and annointings AND sealings in one night! Two different ordinances for many different women! It felt so wonderful to be a part of so much good being done. 

YAY TEMPLE WORK!!!

When I finished I went to the women's dressing room to change back to my original clothing and talked with a volunteer who'd been assigned to keep an eye on the dressing room. 

"It took me a long time to realize the men don't have someone who stays in the dressing room." -Volunteer

"Then why do we?" -Me

"Oh because they asked me to."

"Well good for you for just doing what you're told."

"That's the only way to work for the Lord."

What a good point. I'm going to remember that. 

Sincere Service

Last Friday my fiance and I went to go to our local rock climbing gym to climb together. I really enjoy rock climbing, I’ve looked forward to him teaching me more techniques, and I really like this gym, but that night I was not excited to be going. We met there and all I could think about on the drive were excuses to not stay. he was so excited when we met up, though, and I decided to climb anyway. Well… We left the gym two hours later and my car window was smashed in and my purse stolen from inside.

I was bugged at first (I had just bought that car only five days earlier for goodness sake!), but the police explained that the gym borders woods where local homeless camp. They were 99% sure someone homeless had broken into my car (as they said happens for just the change left in the center console) and that we may even find my purse thrown away somewhere.

That made me feel so much better, then guilty. I had a lot of cash in my purse, and I would rather someone who needs it have taken it instead of a bored gym attendee. I felt guilty, though, because I feel like something of mine may have helped someone else for no effort on my part. I was glad to be helping, but it had happened to me. Not because of me. Why should I be proud of helping someone with no physical effort or intention on my part?

We get lessons all the time in church (especially RS) about being Christlike and doing service. Everyone always gives the standard answers—Go to church, help other people, be a good example, do missionary work—and I always think, “Yeah, but are you really doing it or does it just make us all feel like we’re doing our part to talk about it?” And we pat ourselves on the back for being members of a service organization.

It started to kick in to me in a more active way after my purse was stolen. See, I love doing service, but I always feel like I have to immerse myself in it to make a difference. I moved to Cambodia to volunteer and live in an orphanage. Service opportunities literally surrounded me. Same thing with being a missionary: My entire day was serving others. Before Cambodia I worked at a non-profit where all my co-workers were actively trying to make our community better. What I realized the other day is that it is so much harder to do service while living an ordinary life. We get so comfortable in our daily routines that we don’t recognize service opportunities. We aren’t opposed to them and chipping in when we can, but we just don’t see them.

I am around six people every day—the three members of the family I work for, my mom, and my fiance. Oops, make that five people a day. How can I do service when I’m in just two locations—their house and my house—and around only five people?

Well, maybe I can’t. In those circumstances. I have to make new circumstances. Right? It takes effort! If I really want to help the homeless I can’t just sit back and let them vandalize and steal my property. I need to sincerely and attentively work at it! That means finding the time, thinking of a plan of action, and fulfilling it. I can still immerse myself in service even though my day isn’t automatically organized that way. It just takes action and effort.

Phew. I’m embarrassed to admit how long that took to figure out…