This past week I have spent every day thinking, "I need to be a better person. I need to be a better person." For me that includes trying not to judge others (even subconsciously), do my visiting teaching, think about people who may need help and call or write them, be patient and loving at home, be aware of member missionary opportunities, not complain, and serve whenever possible.
I have to admit that, while some of those things ARE natural, I generally had to actively keep them at the front of my mind. It just gets so easy to be consumed with everyday things and become too busy to do the things we SHOULD do. I'm trying to keep our house clean, do the chores, spend time with my husband, and build a business.
Starting a business has been especially time-consuming for me. I have rented a double booth at a craft fair coming up in 2 weeks, and have been working like a dog to think of innovative ideas and products to fill the booth with and how to display them. Ugh... it's taking a lot of work and a lot of time! I often can't sleep because of all the ideas and stress I have, and will get up in the middle of the night to go into my office and get more work done. That leaves me more tired and less productive during the day, so I feel like I haven't done much work and am too guilty to sleep... a vicious cycle. But that's my life right now.
In fact, I had even thought of a new product idea and what I would have to do to make it while Pres. Uchtdorff gave his talk on simplifying our lives. Was he talking to me, as I sat there thinking about the errands I had to run before I forgot my idea?
So you understand why it took so much effort to actively think of others and push away those selfish, work-horse inclinations.
The missionaries must have been in tune to my prayer and efforts to make more time to be a better person, because they kept me pretty busy this week! We had correlation meeting Wed. night, then I had a RS Pres meeting that last almost 2 hours after that. I signed up to accompany them to teach a sister on Friday, and Thursday they asked if I would be willing to teach another before the original appt. Thursday night I didn't sleep AT ALL, and I was tempted to call the Elders to tell them I wasn't feeling well and could only go to one of the two appts-- they could choose which one. But I didn't do that, I felt strongly that I should help them.
The first lesson was with a new investigator who had a lot of questions about the Book of Mormon. She was very less-than-convinced it was real, and voiced her opinions, which really stung. The next lesson, though, was an investigator with a baptismal date who is progressing WONDERFULLY. She said the exact opposite of things the first woman had said, and it really strengthened my testimony to contrast the two lessons. I had definately needed that, even though it took a few precious hours out of my day.
Saturday night I was, again, planning to catch up on work to get ready for the craft fair coming up and going out of town. I had extensive plans of what to work on while Ben was away at Priesthood Session, but that afternoon the Elders called and asked if I would be willing to babysit the two kids of a single investigator who wanted to go. "Sure", I said, "What else do I have to do?"
I wasn't trying to be sarcastic. I honestly realized I had nothing better to do than help someone else-- especially someone trying to learn more about the gospel and watch our prophet.
It just didn't matter what else I had planned on doing, how stressed I felt about getting everything done, or anything else. All that mattered was that I was being asked to do someone a favor that would spread the Kingdom of God.
I wasn't trying to be sarcastic. I honestly realized I had nothing better to do than help someone else-- especially someone trying to learn more about the gospel and watch our prophet.
It just didn't matter what else I had planned on doing, how stressed I felt about getting everything done, or anything else. All that mattered was that I was being asked to do someone a favor that would spread the Kingdom of God.
It may have taken me a hard week to figure out, but the bottom line is that, if we really want to "Try a little harder to be a little better" we need to have "nothing else to do" (despite whatever else we have to do) to spread the Kingdom of God.